Toby Hustle Returns with the Rundown…

by Tobias Hustleman

The prodigal son returns. Senor Hustle has been officially listed as missing in action. In my day job, this is a very busy season and while I don’t normally subscribe to allowing anxiety to get in the way of my daily, it has been especially rough lately. Sadly, it’s been to the point of insomnia which has given me the full blown Benicio Del Toro baggy eye thing.

To Fenster and Frankie Four Finger fans, I mean no disrespect.

I’ll give you brief recap of what has been going on and let you know that I’ll be back in the game.

Firstly, space cadets should not be allowed to have direct reports. I’m sure my manager’s intentions are in the right place but when I ask what I should do for my career path, don’t make me the guinea pig for every new project you have. On top of getting clients ready for the new year, I can’t very well do 90 presentations, train co-workers, watch sports and enjoy healthy dosages of box spring breaking. It’s just not possible.

I’m just a man.

This is also the same boss who left a note on their office door for the cleaning staff that read: “Please VACUM.”

Secondly, gambling on SEC football will cause very serious health problems. The Auburn-LSU game almost made me puke. It’s a serious situation when you almost lose your cookies because a game is so intense. Seriously, it was like a bookie was sitting next to me in my room with his hand in my pocket. It was a direct violation of my fanhood, but you know what?? That’s the beauty of gambling. I am still handicapping at a respectable 9-5-1 meaning I’ve called 60%. This means I would be in the black if I had bet straight up on the games. Unfortunately my luck turned when I put live money on the games.

Shout outs go to USC fans. You’re good for a “Gump in Jenny’s Dorm” moment every year.

Third, did anyone see the Shane Moseley fight? Left hooks don’t look any better than the one that happened at 2:59 seconds in the 12th round. In my years of following boxing, I thought I had seen it all until there was a knockout in the last second of the 12th round. It was so money and I knew it.

Next, what’s up with the guy that on gave the 1-2 to teenage girl at the McD’s? If you didn’t see it, check it
here:



DISCLAIMER: I do not condone mic checking teenage girls. It’s not right and especially not in front of your kids or anyone’s kids. On the low, it is one of the nastiest 1-2 shots I’ve ever seen. Be on the lookout for the “Dear You to the Nigga in the White Hat.” When I venture into LA, I am going to guard my McNuggets.

Finally, the debate season is off and running. The presidential debate reaffirmed my selection, but the VP debate kicked it up a notch. Palin seems like a good governor, but Joe Beezy did his thing. He impressed me in the debate and any doubts I had about Obama’s lack of experience were vanquished. I didn’t know that Obama had made the right choice, but the debate was excellent. Joe Biden appears to be a straight shooter who will offer Obama the support he needs to make the tough decisions. My favorite moment was when he called out John McCain’s maverick status. He basically said, “word…” and proceeded to make the case succinctly that John McCain’s maverick status on issues mattering to you and me is non-existent.

Si se puede.

I’m back in the game. When you see the website and the name, you don’t have to guess who’s bizack.

Hustlin without sleep in the 08.

–Tobias Hustleman

Ask A Guy - Do men only fall in love AFTER the sex?

by Preston Swagger orig. posted 9/23/08

Q: Do you guys only fall in love after you’ve got the goodies?

A: Nope. We’re in love WAY before that. We’re in love with the possibility of you…

I think this is a people thing more than a “guy” thing. At first we all fall in love with the possibility of someone. We size you up and see what we like.

———-

Note — Ladies if you want an idea of what the guy who’s checking you out is into — follow his eyes. If we size you up from toe to head we’re mostly likely a feet, legs, or ass man.

*Preston looks around…raises hand*

If we go from head to toe we’re probably more into eyes, lips/smile, breasts. Not saying that the total package isn’t important — because of course it is –but our eyes float to what we like best, first. But this too, I think, is more human than “guy”. Ladies let me know if I’m wrong on that one…

———-

But I digress…

So we see you wherever and whenever we see you. You’re lookin fine as hell and we begin to talk a little. THEN you...say IT. IT is something that is exactly what that particular guy wanted to hear:

Yeah, I love to cook
I LOVE watching football
I’ve been called a nympho, but I don’t think it’s true.
I used to be a gymnast

Well hello there…

Remember that movie - There’s Something About Mary — where Matt Dillon sets Cameron Diaz up with perfection? He opens his car door and the blueprints come out and she’s like, “oh you’re an architect”...and then he asks for quarter because all he has are Nepalize coins and she’s like, “oh you’ve been to Nepal?”.

Everybody hopes to find their dream guy or girl. In reality we know there is no such thing. But there’s a brief time when you might just be perfect…

And we love that...

I’ll tell you a secret ladies: you know how you meet a guy who you think really might have a shot with you? Really might be as cool as you think…really might be stable and without issues…really might have a chance at hangin around for a while? And you smile when you see his name on the caller ID. And you make your girlfriends sick talking about him…and you have that little glow that makes your friends laugh at you and your haters envy you…

We feel that way too. We just hide that shit like hell!! C’mon...I’m a grown ass man dog...how do i look glowing?? So we don’t say or show it much…especially around the fellas. But we feel that way too.

“Every time your name was brought up, I would act all nonchalant in front of an audience” — Jay-Z (Frontin)

Now I know this isn’t real love. But just from a sequential standpoint...NO ONE falls in true love BEFORE sex. Typically you have sex with someone after a few weeks or months — and typically you don’t fall into real love that fast. But that getting to know you infatuation. That high that comes with the possibility of new love. We feel it too. We like it too. And that happens before you give us your goodies…

Peace, Love, & A Sweet Tooth,

–Preston

Ish You Should Know Calvin Patterson

Tobias calls out the million dollar athletes who fuck it all up for themselves, their family, and the culture—and recognizes one of many who tried not to…


My alter ego works a 9-5 job, is pretty proud of what he has accomplished, but knows he has a lot to accomplish still. It is not the sense of accomplishment that battles complacency. Rather, it is the sense of how quickly things could turn for the worse. No matter how much you achieve in a field or particular interest, there is still more to do in life and for the world.In this the age of multi-million dollar athletes with their endorsements, it pains me when athletes waste their talent because they get wrapped in a life or rep.

This point personified is Michael Vick.

There are things in cultures that others do not understand, and that’s o.k. Someone though, should have said,“Hey Michael, don’t fight pit bulls…idiot.” Here’s another. “Hey Nate Newton don’t transport hundreds of pounds of weed in the Mystery Machine.”

This is not an attack on African American players because all people make mistakes. Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers was hooked on crack, but he made it back. I have a partiality to his story because he is a North Carolina boy. Chris Anderson of the New Orleans Hornets ran into the same situation and we’ll see how far he makes it back. What (in the fuck) was Matt Jones thinking getting caught cutting up coke? The stories are endless and cut across race.

I gear this toward black people because with minorities, athletes are particularly polarized as representatives of the culture. When you have bouts of idiocy, it is reflective of a people. You’re spiting people, history and the cause. Google Calvin Patterson and see what you’ll find. Here is a young man who was the first Black player to play for the Florida State Seminoles. His story was so tragic that FSU didn’t even recognize him as such. For decades, J.T. Thomas was recognized as the first.

Patterson enrolled in FSU in 1968 after growing up with his great aunt in Dade County. He enrolled in a white school in the south where football is more sacred than communion. He faced the obligatory death threats, internal racism for dating a white woman, and the Florida A&M students resented him for attending a white school.
In reading the article at espn.com, two particular points touched me about the story. One, he was befriended by a professor who was raised essentially as a racist. After attending Cornell, the professor’s eyes were opened and became the campus liason for black enrollement.

People do learn and can change.

In general, we would not be where we are today if people did not change. Racism does still exist but those out front cannot continually give people a reason to believe in the stereotypes they were taught.
Secondly and most importantly, after being ruled ineligible to play due to his academic performance, it seems Patterson felt worst about not being able to play for his family. At least from what I can infer, he felt a responsibility (or perhaps a burden depending on your sentiment) of playing and representing his family. Faced with not playing football, he shot himself in the stomach in attempt to end his playing career. Sadly, he bled to death before the ambulance arrived.

History did balance itself out somewhat in this case. Tommy Warren, a former quarterback of the Seminoles, became a civil rights lawyer in Florida and fought for the recognition of Patterson as the first African American player at FSU. Patterson’s family was recognized in 2004 and a scholarship was established in his name.

It stories like these that prevent you from feeling sorry for an athlete ruining an opportunity. It’s not for me to judge how Calvin Patterson chose to deal with his circumstances because I have never had to experience those conditions. I can judge him for having pride enough in his family and community to know that he was representing them. He had to have been a source of pride for them as well.
When an athlete Vicks his situation, I have no sympathy because you’re only perpetuating a feeling of negativity against black athletes and to some, black people as a whole. Don’t worry if you’re not street anymore. You’re making millions of dollars to play a sport. There are people who cannot put food on their table…and you dogfight?! Your boys are not your boys if they will let you do something that will ruin your opportunity. If they do call you on it and you don’t listen, that is your mistake. Live with the consequences.

I hope athletes appreciate their role. Whether you know it or not, people are watching and judging. Right or wrong, these are the circumstances.

Represent, your family, friends and culture men and women. Change a mind or two.