Confessions of a Man-Ho (Part 2)

by Seymour Monet orig. 11/10/08

This was the beginning of the end people. I had just learned one of Vicki’s little secrets...exactly how to get in them mo-fo’s! The next 2 years was a blur of bras, backseats and bouncing box springs. And then I graduated high school!

If high school was where the monster was created, college is where he terrorized…

Let’s get back into it:

One of the few things in life that I will say that I’m good at is reading body language. I actually like to say I’m fluent.

So, I watched.

I watched the eyes to see who was skull fucking me.

Oh yes my dear...you were first…

I watched the crowd to see who seemed to draw away and be a little shy. Perhaps the girl who was at the edge of the dance floor grooving just a little by herself, but not drawing any attention to herself either.

88% closet freak success rate on those.

I watched the body and saw who seemed to lean towards me during conversation. You like to be in and take control. Take away some of that control and you go crazy. Since you required a little more work, you were third in line.

Then there were times when I didn’t feel like talking at all. That’s when I would go for what we affectionately referred to as “stragglers”, the chicks who were just around at the end of the night. That was just at social events boys and girls. Not to mention class, the gym, the library, the caf, or any other place I would observe women.

Once again, I did have standards. I tried to keep it 7 or better and I like to say I succeeded. Now having said that; I did own a pair of beer goggles back then. So you do the math.

Also, I never went for the popular girl unless she came to me and wanted a title shot. Even then sometimes I had to pull a Don King and block the fight. Bad boys move in silence, Big said. So, I avoided the limelight as much as possible.

College is when I was introduced to one night stands, booty calls and the infamous double and triple headers. And I hadn’t even really started listening yet.

After college, I set out to hone my listening skills. This, frankly, is easier than most guys realize. Women will tell you everything you need to know, if you just listen. I used all insecurities, secrets, and dreams to my advantage. If you told me you thought you were too thin, I told you I didn’t really dig skinny girls. You’ve got ass, then I was a cleavage fan. This automatically ignited a competitive fire that I stoked or dampened as necessary. If you tell me you like fashion, I’m telling you that whatever you’re wearing was a wise purchase...and asking for a little spin! To keep you placated later on, I would plan events in the future to give you the idea that we were working towards something, only to start an argument out of nowhere as the time got closer resulting in the plans being canceled. I was at was at my best and worst at the same time.

Of course during this time of hot debauchery, the thought of settling down never crossed my mind. I didn’t look for any redeeming qualities in women and I don’t know if I would have recognized it back then anyway. Some women really reveal themselves in a casual relationship and some play it close to the chest. Either way, after bedding women so easily then listening to most of them complain about other guys they were in relationships with, I didn’t think the mythical “good girl” existed. Now I also realize that there are some women out there who are solely out to get their rocks off as well, so I know I wasn’t the only one playing games. However, as I continued in life the game got less appealing to me, yet sex never lost its appeal. And there was the rub...Me wanting my own rub but tired of all the bull. Then it happened:

I met what all men have in their past; the one that got away.

At age 26, believe it or not, I was in my first serious relationship and suddenly believed that good women existed. Then I did what all men do when they have their first good relationship. I fucked it up.

I didn’t cheat on her. I need to put that out there before some of you start making voodoo dolls.

I just didn’t know how to be in a relationship. Even though we fit together like cheese and grits, I had no idea how to make a woman feel loved and secure. I just knew how to attract them and keep them guessing. You can’t stay mysterious and aloof forever, eventually you have to open up and truly show her you love her. I never made her feel appreciated and R. Kelly told you what happens when a woman’s fed up. It was over for that and I was back on the prowl having experienced love for the first time. But love had kinda smacked me in the face.

From relationship time until now, it’s been about five years since I’ve done any rampant fuckery. Not for lack of options but for lack of optimism. I’m going to let a cat out of the bag here real quick. The fellas and I are a part of a larger group of friends that became close in college. Upon departure we all made a bet to see who would be the last to get married.. It’s now down to 4 of us out of 8. And that would be the four guys who write on this site:

1, Toby Hustle — Holla!!

2. Preston Swagger — What’s good?!?!

3. I.M. Haight – Go to hell!!

4. And me….

After reading his article, the smart money would be on Toby. (Editor’s Note from Swagg: “Get the fuck outta here!!”)

I’m putting my money on me even though I actually want to get married now. Do I actually think it will happen? Absolutely not.

I’ve been with enough women now to know exactly what I want.

You can immediately cross easy and boring females off the list. Which frankly, right now, is a good chunk of chicks. It takes a unique combination of a humble confidence, mixed with a voracious, quirky sense of humor, sprinkled with some dammit sexiness that’s going to keep me interested. The problem is that right now I’m tired of buying scratch off tickets, trying to hit the jackpot. I cant regress because what I used to do was just plain fucked up. I can’t progress because those choices have soured me on the dating ritual. I’ve actually changed my approach to be genuine, honest, and gentlemanly. And I’ve already spoken about where that gets you.

So, am I more wrong for cutting some women off early because I can tell it won’t work or telling other women I have enough friends already? Or do I keep crossing my fingers and buying scratch off tickets?

To say I did some things I’m not proud of is an understatement. Saying I had fun is also an understatement. To say it was all a learning experience doesn’t do it justice. My choices might have just ruined me for life though. Let me say right now before any minds wander...I’m clean! But I’m jaded...bitter even. I’m a man ho that doesn’t want his mo-jo. I loves me some women but I’m tired of trying to find one. So what to do?

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” –Robert Frost

“Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!” –Homer Simpson

S. Monet

The One Thing Bush Gets Credit For

by Tobias Hustleman...originally posted 09/08

Say what you will about Condoleezza Rice, she did make a good point. There are not enough Black people working in the US State dept. Rice made this assertion in an article on CNN.com and credited her family and education as integral pieces for building her career in politics. While the Republican party has done nothing for my opinion of their politics during the Republican National Convention, they have put two more Blacks in the top diplomatic post than the Democratic party. Now, it is debatable as to whether or not Powell and Rice have had large parts in the formation of policy. You have to wonder how much Powell agreed with when he did not return to be Secretary of State for the second term. Even if they were put in place due to skin color, it is still important nonetheless because aside from the President and Vice President, Secretary of State is very much the representative of US foreign policy.

I am simply editorializing here so I’ll venture out for awhile…

If the youth today see Powell, Rice and Obama, will this inspire a new wave of kids wanting to be leaders? It’s not far-fetched to believe, but the seeds are being sewn. As odd as it sounds, Mr. Bush can be a credit for that. What is this credit to Bush you ask? It took four years and a shady election for people to admit they saw something amazing. People reported in record numbers to vote because they just couldn’t believe a president could be so bad. My mother voted and she had not voted in close to 40 some-odd years. Unfortunately, the administration used a policy of fear to gain votes. People in power have long used misinformation and the electorate’s lack of education to control power.

The youth especially are impressionable. It’s why they want to be like corny rap stars, flashy athletes, and the neighborhood dope man. But they also follow in the path of good parents, family members, and coaches. All rappers aren’t bad and all parents aren’t good. My point is Barack’s run along with the Powell and Rice stints as SS could inspire a new group of youth to political aspirations.

Take my weak example of heavyweight boxing. Historically, kids wanted to box because they had an icon as an idol. Kids wanted to be like Jack Johnson because he laughed at the establishment. Joe Louis beat the Germans and Muhammad Ali was as charismatic as any figure that ever lived. They were lightning rods of inspiration. As time wore on, the title lost its luster in part due to bad boxing administration and a lack of a figure that inspired. The glory and money shifted to basketball and football. Mainly though, kids just don’t have the figure to place as an idol. What title could be better than being the biggest, baddest guy around with your hands?!?

Apparently, a shoe deal is better.

If there are any young, minority types out who may find this article, follow the history of Black politicians here. There is a tide of change just from the information in the Democratic exit polls:

* Obama was the overwhelming favorite among Blacks

* Hillary held the advantage among White voters

In gambling that is called a push, but Barack held the advantage in educated, young, white voters. Hillary led in those over 65. This tells me that education is at least neutralizing race to some degree. As you can see, Republicans have started the heart of America stuff and call Obama an elitist. Forgive me for doing what you told me and getting an education. Being American is more than just being from the “heartland” or small towns. Interestingly enough, your education taught me that.

More importantly, the article shows minorities can get into office and effect policy change. Now, don’t go out like my man in Detroit. Politicans can be bad Black, White or otherwise. (Note: Kwame, that was a slouch move with the text messages. They are as bad as semen soaked dresses. People will track messages from a mayor and a head technician wont don’t dry clean her dress if it’s soaked with presidential DNA. If you’re going to pull that, get a code for communication. Don’t you watch “The Wire”?!?! Kwame, you’re a Rodeo Clown.) All is not lost. His mother Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick is the chair of the Congressional Black Caucus one of the more powerful entities in Washington.

Pay attention to the news and not just the sports report. See if anyone is addressing the issues that affect you. If they are not, write a letter. Get out and vote. You can make a change.

Yes we can!

No Black Or Mongols Allowed.

originally posted 8/2008

It is amazing what one may find surfing the internet after a day of working. Much to my chagrin, I have found that neither me nor my Mongolian love and touch would be allowed in a bar in the worker’s district during the Olympics. Potentially, this will be the center of social activity during the Beijing games.

O.k. now let me be easy here and toe this line properly. It is one thing to get after a racist hacker or clown the Jesse Helms lover from South Carolina, but it is a completely different matter to give the most populous country in the world a dosage of ether. This story is a hard one to stomach though. Some of their fears may be based on legitimate criminal acts but it is the matter in which these fears are being handled.

This is an excellent opportunity to do some mini research on China as I only know what I’ve been able to obtain from various programs, classmates, and movies (when did Chinese people lose the ability to fly?) Seriously though, it is one of the oldest surviving civilizations on Earth. Put them in perspective by checking out the Wiki article on the United States:

The first indigenous peoples were thought to have migrated from Asia around 12000-40000 years ago.

St. Augustine (the first European settlement) was founded in 1507.
Jamestown was the first successful English settled in 1607. It’s a shame what happened to the poor Roanoke settlement.

Pilgrims settled Plymouth in 1620.

The 13 colonies declared independence on July 4, 1776.

1776?

The Great Wall was built around the 5th century BC. I respect that. Many kingdoms and empires have risen and fallen since then yet China has stood through this all. It would be tough to judge a culture by our standards when it has been around far longer than our US culture.

With that said though, it is Communist meaning the government controls the country and its policies with a heavy hand. The very idea of the Olympics in China creates of conflict interests as far a human rights. There again, I cannot with a clear conscience say that is wrong to have the Olympics there. Germany, while under Hitler, hosted the 1932 1936 games. The US has hosted the Olympics several times and we all know of our human rights indiscretions. To me, it seems terribly conflicting to have games there with the protests over China’s policy on Tibet. While the other host countries have faced some of their past indiscretions for the most part, Chinese government officials appear to march to its own tune when it comes to human rights.

Racism whether intentional or not is an atrocity. Banning Blacks and Mongols does nothing to improve the image of China, and we knew this was not a bastion of civil rights. Ironically, during March of this year, China was removed from the top 10 list of human rights violators. Some of my conspiracy theorists friends would say it was a ploy by large corporations to freely sponsor the Olympics in spite of the protests. I do not have enough proof to say this is the case but it is strangely ironic. Why would a company not want to the ability to enter a market of or gain a greater market share of 1.3 billion people? An event that should celebrate athletes and the spirit of unity is being clouded by being held in a country that doesn’t appear to believe in its motto.

On the other foot, the money must be really good for a black person to deal drugs in China. Six people got capital punishment for drug trafficking in China. Word???? These were repeat offenders but come on man. You feel comfortable being the dope man in a place where this ish is going down? I have friends who got a couple of years in the pen for trafficking. CHINA IS GIVING CAPITAL PUNISHMENT FOR TRAFFICKING. It is not fair to stereotype an entire group of people by the few who are dumb so someone should beat the brakes off these guys. You have to be plain stupid to take that risk. Still though, categorically denying people simple day to day activities because of their ethnicity is ridiculous.

I have said a lot to say that everyone should do their research and make an informed opinion. This is not an article against the people of China. It is an article against the policies of the Chinese government. Think for a moment, freely expressing yourself is a luxury not had by the people of China. You would not be taking advantage of your rights as a citizen of this country if you did not express yourself.

Let me know what you think.

T. Hustleman