Confessions of a Man-Ho Part 1

by Seymour Monet

Confessions of a Man-Ho (Part 1)
via Truth Merchants by Seymour Monet on 11/10/08


In the first installment of the legendary post “How To Talk to Pretty Women”, I mentioned how being labeled as the nice guy is close to leprosy and that I would be explaining later. Well later is now. Later has been this…well…late because I know this is going to be a sensitive issue. Mainly because I will be dealing with a seemingly illogical subject; the fact that women just don’t like nice guys. Personally it will be a tad touchy because I am taking a cue from my cohorts Haight and Hustle and getting a bit personal here. I have been wrestling with how to approach this for maximum effectiveness and I concluded that anecdotal evidence is the quick dissolving strip to solve this situation. So here it goes:

Hello. My name is Seymour Monet and I am a man ho.

I’m recovering actually but I know how it goes. Once a man ho, always a man ho. Now this isn’t going to be some Karrine Steffans-esque name drop fest. And please don’t get it twisted and think I’m some Eric Benet, “To Catch a Predator” type dude. Never have been. But I will admit that I have done quite a few things that I’m not proud of to get that (insert favorite nickname for vagina here…I’m lazy today). I did have standards though. I wasn’t the crack whore of man ho’s. I didn’t tell chicks I loved them just to get it nor did I have a bunch of “girlfriends.” I let women know that I wasn’t looking for a relationship so I figured I wasn’t really that bad. What I did do was lie, coerce, and manipulate to get what I wanted…

…safe passage to the land of milk and honey! I kid.

See, the reason I can talk about this so candidly is because I am a nice guy at heart. I also want women to have some insight into what can lead a man to ho-dom and what can happen after it. You need to know that we all aren’t that bad and that a good portion of the assholes that you’ve already run into were really nice guys in disguise.

Stop cussing at the screen…I said a good portion, not all! So, here’s my story.

I, like many African-American men of my generation, was raised by women. Namely my mother and later my grandmother taught me to be respectful at all times and especially to women. I still flinch now if I forget a “ma’am”, remembering all the pimp slaps I caught from granny. If you remember from the same legendary posting I explained that pretty much all the women in my family are lookers. So, I figured one and one equaled two and if I was nice to chicks (especially the pretty ones) I would get me one. If only I knew. I proceeded to be gentlemanly and an all around nice guy to the girls that caught my eye. I ended up with more “friends” than a Matt LeBlanc greatest hits marathon.

Then more and more I noticed that all the assholes I knew were putting in much less work with a way higher success rate. It just didn’t make sense to me. It went against everything I heard from women and everything I was raised to believe. “Treat women right son”, is all I would hear. But I’ll be damned if I wasn’t being treated like somebody’s little brother. I would constantly hear, “You’re so nice, but…”, “Oh, Mo you’re such a sweet guy, but….” Little did I know that a scarlet N was being slapped on my chest. But everything changed on one fateful road trip.

I had a cousin who lived in another small town maybe 20 minutes away. So, I’m doing the family visit thing and her best friend happens by. This is also where I began to think that all pretty women traveled in packs.

(I was a genius I tell ya!)

Now of course since my cousin is my cousin and since we are the same age we give each other a hard time. It’s just natural. What wasn’t natural to me was the crossover of jokes to her friend. I’m busting jokes on them, ignoring them some, generally NOT doing anything that would make the friend think I was trying to get at her. And what do you know?

She was all over me!

There was the tell tale over-giggle and touch. My male cousins were throwing the football around and she decides to play tackle…with me.

Suddenly jokes turned into, “why don’t you come by my house sometime after school Seymour?”

Hell fuck yeah, is what I was thinking.

“We’ll see what I can do”, is what I said.

Then it happened.

“Please?”

This was the beginning of the end people. I had just learned one of Vicki’s little secrets…exactly how to get in them mo-fo’s! The next 2 years was a blur of bras, backseats and bouncing box springs. And then I graduated high school!

If high school was where the monster was created, college is where he terrorized…

S. Monet…(Part 2 tomorrow)

Why don’t men commit? Part 1...Women Cheat too.

by Tobias Hustleman orig. posted 09/08

Why don't men commit?

That is the worst question I’ve ever heard in my life. You should have been given an idea of that in the “Monogamy vs. Bachelorhood” article. At 30, it seems I’ve only heard women say that their relationships ended badly because of the guy’s inability to commit or do what’s right to keep the relationship going.

That’s just plain garbage.

Physical monogamy is just unnatural. It doesn’t really exist in the animal kingdom and even some species of birds (who I’ve always been told are monogamous) are only socially monogamous.

The male birds are raising some other pimp’s chicks.

It’s not impossible but it has to be a conscious decision. I am not out chasing women. Let me rephrase. I am not chasing women based on what I call “skirt chasing”. I’ve just not had a girlfriend in awhile. That doesn’t mean I am hopping beds every night. I just don’t want to jump into a “relationship” like that just yet.

But I am tired of the non-committal indictments. Women cheat too. What’s worse is women never say they cheat because they wanted to cheat. They’re always pushed to cheating. “My boyfriend does not pay attention to me”…or…”he is always out with his guys”. “He doesn’t try anymore”.

So it’s o.k. to commit but cheat when you feel you are unfulfilled???

There are some concessions that can be made on both sides. Women you’re not always the victim. I’ve been cheated on once and was not really trusted in the very next instance. After that my next ex didn’t really appreciate my efforts (that didn’t “drive” me to cheat on her though). She and I have since resolved, but I digress. What have I been since then? A devout member of the Clooney Church of Bachelors.

(Editor’s Note from P. Swagg: Let the church say Amen)

A female friend of mine gave up the tapes. She said women fuck around too. Some of her friends have had long time boyfriends or husbands and philandered. This is after I asked her what she thought about men avoiding commitment. I decided to google female infidelity and what do you know...I found a website called womensinfidelity.com.

WORD????

So you want me to commit so that you can go through the four stages? Keep it. Marriage as it stands today is a fairy tale, religious convention. I feel like someone watched the movie “Unfaithful” and thought, “I am glad she cheated on her husband”.

Women deserve to get theirs too. Yes, you do.

And I am all for being that guy to give it to you!!

Nah……as much as I hate marriage, I would never disrespect it. If people are going to try, I don’t want the karma of being the splackavellie. God bless you if you wanna try. But all guys are not bad. It just depends on where you catch them in their life’s path. And here’s the flip side that no one ever mentions.

It’s the same way with women…

Maybe our paths cross at the wrong time. Who knows?

Most of my female friends get heartbroken when they sleep with a guy and the guy bounces out before settling down. I always think to myself you wouldn’t feel that way if you just treated it as an act. I guess men “feel” and think in physical terms; women “feel” and think emotionally.

This post ended up as more of a rant than anything else. Hopefully my next post will be more formalized. Truthfully, I wish I had the DVD of “Waiting to Exhale” right now so I could piss on it. I am still bitter about being subjected to that garbage rather than seeing “Rumble in the Bronx.”

Until Part 2

T. Hustleman

Where Are Your Nuts? - Male Feminization Pt. 2

by Preston Swagger orig. posted 09/08

I received several comments here and on a few other sites as well as emails regarding PART 1 and that was just the prelude. Some people thought that I was overreacting.

I’m sure that I am…but just humor me for a few more moments:

So the “women like it” + the “it’s a new fad” combination takes hold and the “queer eye” phenomena begins to grow. Guys are trying new products and realizing that they weren’t so bad.

This movement even gives rise to a new term, “metrosexual”.

How large has that term become?

Most spell checkers don’t correct it anymore. Now that’s the mark of something that has truly permeated society.

But you know what? That’s not even the problem. I’m not saying men should be hairy disgusting creatures. Nor do I mean to imply that “hairy”, “unkempt”, “smelly” or any other adjective in that vein defines manhood. Just as a neat and well dressed man isn’t a “pussy”.

I’ll put myself out there. And just for fun I’ll highlight the things that someone could interpret as girly.

I’ve never had a manicure.

I do have a loofah.

I work in Los Angeles and when I’m at a lunch or dinner meeting I know what wine to order with what foods.

I don’t kick it at home and sip Chablis.

If we go out, my goatee will be immaculately trimmed and my head will have a fresh baldy.

Right now: 5 o’clock shadow like a muthafucka.

I love sports, and I love gambling.

I’m honestly not that good with my hands. I can put the shit from Ikea together but I’m nothing special.

And if you hear a sound from under the hood of your car…I can’t do much more than refer you to a good mechanic.

If I’d been Tom Hanks in Castaway…you would’ve found my corpse! Right next to the twigs where I tried in vain to light a fire before I starved to death!

I’m an average cat.

But what I’m saying here…..the point of this article….is that THINGS HAVE GONE WAY PAST AVERAGE. They’ve gone way past metrosexual. Take the Blogxilla post I referenced at the end of part 1 on this topic. He kept hearing about guys doing some really punk ass shit. So, via twitter, he opened up his site and let women comment. Did you read those comments?????

IT IS WAY PAST AVERAGE.

I’ve copied some of the highlights lowlights here for you to read for yourself:

@Blogxilla: just yesterday, this guy was literally sitting next to his phone waiting 4 me 2 call.. Every 30 mins he’d hit me up Or when a guy is strictly your friend and he starts with…”It really hurt my feelings when…”

@Blogxilla this guy I work with, a girl told him he looked chunky at the club and he wouldn’t leave the dj booth for 2 hours lmao

@Blogxilla OMG!!! Me and ALL my girls been sayin this same shit ALL summer… I dont know, when or why but it seems like men an women are swapping places when it comes to relationships and sex. Used to be men complaining about women being clingy, jealous, insecure, stalkin… an now it’s them. Gettin feelins hurt, catchin feelins, whining, complaining, naggin and blowin a Bitch UP!!! XILLA wuts goin on?!

I love this post Xilla..I just recently broke up with my ex because he would not let me be the female in the relationship..he did most of what was mentioned above..There are a lot of dudes out there like this and its scary/crazy all at the same time

This clearly goes beyond a guy’s choice in exfoliate or whether he chooses wide leg or skinny jeans!!

But it is entirely possible that I’m blowing this out of proportion…

To be sure, let’s take a look at this last comment left on this very site:

Can’t we come to some sort of middle ground on this? Where is the “middleman”? Caveman ~ Hairy / Metroman ~ Waxed (or even worse, a fucking landing strip [true story])

FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!!

A LANDING STRIP!!!

C’mon fellas!! Really?!?!?!?!!?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!!

Now let’s take a quick look at hip-hop. What does EVERY SINGLE RAPPER say when they are criticized for rapping about drugs, violence or women in a misogynistic way?

I’m just rapping about what I see every day! I’m just talking about what’s in front of me. I’m a reflection of the hood.

So I’m sure it’s a coincidence that so many rappers become extremely successful and then start singing. Starting with Ja Rule, and running right on through 50, Kanye West and Lil Wayne. Just cause you’re singing into a box that makes your voice sound like a computer doesn’t make it “hard” man! Stop fuckin singin to me. What part of the “hood” are you reflecting with that shit?? When did you see THAT in front of you? Lil Wayne sang more than Static Major on “Lollipop” and he PAID Static Major to sing on that song! And Kanye damn near ruins Young Jeezy’s “Put On” by whining through a computer all over the refrain of the song.

Need more? Cause I could still just be trippin…

How about how every rappers favorite line nowadays seems to be, “it ain’t trickin if you got it”…

Yes it is, you hoecake!!!

Rappers love to reference pimps. Whether it’s Goldie, Magic Don Juan, A Pimp Named Slickback…whomever… But you know what...give those guys a BILLION dollars and guess how much they’d trick…

Zero Point Zero Zero dollars.

That’s how much!

Anytime you throw money in to replace a lack of game…YOU ARE TRICKIN. Pimps could be broke and still talk a chick right up out her clothes. Just cause you sold a million records doesn’t mean you’re not fuckin the game up. It’s trickin……..stop kidding yourself.

But maybe the queer eye phenomenom leading to the metrosexual craze leading to the outright girly men and singing rappers we have today is all just a coincidence…

So get mani/pedi’s, spa treatments, skinny jeans, those miniature scarves, and the best facial mask you can find. It’s not my swagg but go for it if it makes you happy. I’m not saying it’s wrong or you shouldn’t do it. Just be sure and reach into your pants and check for your nuts every now and then…

Because clearly, a lot of dudes have misplaced them.

The Feminization Of Men - Part 1

Written by Preston Swagger originally posted 09/08

It became noticeable when “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” hit its peak. Men are and always will be susceptible to two things: Women and Fads.

The “women” part was common knowledge. But fads are a bit more interesting though. This is especially true of fads that take guys out of their comfort zone. You have to coax a guy into that place.

For example:

Remember when “loofahs” first came out?! That spongy, kinda brillo pad type thing on a string (don’t front like you don’t know what I’m talking about). Well do you remember when guys slowly began to use them?

After the Ironhead Hayward commercial!! (5 cool points if you know what I’m talking about)!

I’ll explain: So the loofah comes out and guys aren’t touching it with a 10-foot pole. So someone has the great idea to get Denver Broncos star, Craig “Ironhead” Hayward to do a commercial for it. Moreover the commercial basically just consisted of Ironhead showing you how much more “lather” you can get with the loofah over the standard wash cloth and then him yelling and mocking the guys who thought the thing was too girly.

Fucking.

Brilliant.

So this guy’s guy reassures us. Tells us it’s ok to use this thing. So we do. He’s our excuse. I watch Ironhead run over fools on a football field every Sunday!! If he’s cool with the loufah…I’m cool too.

Queer Eye did the same thing, but in a different fashion. These guys would take a guy with a girlfriend or wife (that was ESSENTIAL, he HAD to have a girlfriend or wife) and shave him, fix up his crib, buy him a gang of new clothes and then go, “See…now isn’t this better”?? To which most guys would probably answer:

No!

Bitch!

But that wasn’t the entire scenario. The full picture was these guys going, “See…now isn’t this better”?? While his girl was standing right there!! She’s grinning from ear to ear because sex no longer involves a mouthful of chest hair and he just nods and is like, “yeah. I guess this is better”. And then they’d broadcast that shit into millions of homes across the country. And the Ironhead theorem would slowly kick in. Every week more men would fall victim as their girl would turn to them and say shit like,

“it’s not that bad”

“if that guy did it, so can you”,

“he was a Giants fan just like you, and now he looks great in skinny jeans”.

These same men would rationalize to their male friends after they’d given in.

“Yo, dog…exfoliating is kinda cool”.

“Pimps get manicures all the time”.

“Chicks love the way this new milk of magnesia, aloe vera, cocoa body butter smells”!!

But little did women know that these new products and body care regiments would seep into far more than the guy’s skin. It ended up permeating millions of guy’s very being and leading to the epidemic of bitchassness that is RAMPANT today.

I’m looking at you Day 26!!

In part 2 we discuss how bad things are today and how rappers have even become plagued by this phenomena as well. (IT’S STILL TRICKIN EVEN IF YOU HAVE IT!!!! YOU PUNK ASS!!)

Until tomorrow,

P. Swagg

No Black Or Mongols Allowed.

originally posted 8/2008

It is amazing what one may find surfing the internet after a day of working. Much to my chagrin, I have found that neither me nor my Mongolian love and touch would be allowed in a bar in the worker’s district during the Olympics. Potentially, this will be the center of social activity during the Beijing games.

O.k. now let me be easy here and toe this line properly. It is one thing to get after a racist hacker or clown the Jesse Helms lover from South Carolina, but it is a completely different matter to give the most populous country in the world a dosage of ether. This story is a hard one to stomach though. Some of their fears may be based on legitimate criminal acts but it is the matter in which these fears are being handled.

This is an excellent opportunity to do some mini research on China as I only know what I’ve been able to obtain from various programs, classmates, and movies (when did Chinese people lose the ability to fly?) Seriously though, it is one of the oldest surviving civilizations on Earth. Put them in perspective by checking out the Wiki article on the United States:

The first indigenous peoples were thought to have migrated from Asia around 12000-40000 years ago.

St. Augustine (the first European settlement) was founded in 1507.
Jamestown was the first successful English settled in 1607. It’s a shame what happened to the poor Roanoke settlement.

Pilgrims settled Plymouth in 1620.

The 13 colonies declared independence on July 4, 1776.

1776?

The Great Wall was built around the 5th century BC. I respect that. Many kingdoms and empires have risen and fallen since then yet China has stood through this all. It would be tough to judge a culture by our standards when it has been around far longer than our US culture.

With that said though, it is Communist meaning the government controls the country and its policies with a heavy hand. The very idea of the Olympics in China creates of conflict interests as far a human rights. There again, I cannot with a clear conscience say that is wrong to have the Olympics there. Germany, while under Hitler, hosted the 1932 1936 games. The US has hosted the Olympics several times and we all know of our human rights indiscretions. To me, it seems terribly conflicting to have games there with the protests over China’s policy on Tibet. While the other host countries have faced some of their past indiscretions for the most part, Chinese government officials appear to march to its own tune when it comes to human rights.

Racism whether intentional or not is an atrocity. Banning Blacks and Mongols does nothing to improve the image of China, and we knew this was not a bastion of civil rights. Ironically, during March of this year, China was removed from the top 10 list of human rights violators. Some of my conspiracy theorists friends would say it was a ploy by large corporations to freely sponsor the Olympics in spite of the protests. I do not have enough proof to say this is the case but it is strangely ironic. Why would a company not want to the ability to enter a market of or gain a greater market share of 1.3 billion people? An event that should celebrate athletes and the spirit of unity is being clouded by being held in a country that doesn’t appear to believe in its motto.

On the other foot, the money must be really good for a black person to deal drugs in China. Six people got capital punishment for drug trafficking in China. Word???? These were repeat offenders but come on man. You feel comfortable being the dope man in a place where this ish is going down? I have friends who got a couple of years in the pen for trafficking. CHINA IS GIVING CAPITAL PUNISHMENT FOR TRAFFICKING. It is not fair to stereotype an entire group of people by the few who are dumb so someone should beat the brakes off these guys. You have to be plain stupid to take that risk. Still though, categorically denying people simple day to day activities because of their ethnicity is ridiculous.

I have said a lot to say that everyone should do their research and make an informed opinion. This is not an article against the people of China. It is an article against the policies of the Chinese government. Think for a moment, freely expressing yourself is a luxury not had by the people of China. You would not be taking advantage of your rights as a citizen of this country if you did not express yourself.

Let me know what you think.

T. Hustleman

Ask A Guy - Are Plutonic (Platonic) Relationships Extinct?

by Seymour Monet

Q: Is it truly possible for a man and woman to be in a plutonic relationship?
Short answer: No because that would mean that the relationship was formed by the solidification of magma..So, unless you are messing around with volcano’s I don’t think that will happen. If you mean platonic then its no for us and yes for you.

Long answer: This is actually a question I’ve been Hulk Hoganing with for a minute believe it or not. I’m typically not one to say something absolutely can’t happen because I’ve seen so much occur that I would’ve previously thought impossible. (i.e. The Two Corey’s, T-Pain) The problem I have with it is the reciprocation of friendly feelings. I almost sounded smart there didn’t I? Anyway. This is one of the few subjects that you will ever see me waffle on. Enjoy it while it lasts snitches. And the first “syrup” joke will get someone castrated.

Since I am tackling this subject for the masses I decided to press pause on my F-Webster movement and look up the word “platonic.” It reads…
a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex.

Ok, so fuck that…

Look I see it like this. Relationship is the key word here. The terms actually contradict themselves because if you listen to that bastard Webster a relationship is defined by being …a romantic or passionate attachment. Now you see why I say fuck Webster. Digressing, the other interpretations allow a relationship to range from a friendship to a splackavellie. What to believe? Me! Here it is:
Women are the only creatures that have the emotional facets to allow for several relationship variations. Men have friends and chicks. That’s it. If by rare blue moon a man actually considers a female a friend only, I promise he barely considers her a broad at all. Sucks…I know.

I would start with the dick in a glass case offensive here but women would inevitably use the “it’s not about sex defense”. That’s old. It’s more than that now really. A “friend” to a woman is whatever she isn’t getting at home. Conversation, pipe, attention, laughter, longstroke, understanding, making you feel wanted …the list goes on and on. Men and women can definitely have a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex. Any routine from a mid-30’s stand up would have you believe that marriage is that way.

Another blog…another time…

But dammit some passion is present! We are getting the shit end of the stick here and that’s evident. You get to have your Devils food and eat it too, while we just get blue balls. Now here is where my belief that all things are possible gets in the way. Being that you have such emotional range I will allow for certain anomalies that prove this rule…certain childhood/family friends, sweetchucks, and some ex’s. What you have to realize is that you have the capacity to have “levels” of friendship. We simply don’t have as many categories…guy friend, girl friend, best friend, friend friend, church friend, club friend, sometimey friend. Whereas we have the fellas and the “to bone or not to bone”. That’s it.

While the appearance of a strict, mature non-sexual relationship is evident. I assure you ladies we are one come hither look away from a porno bass guitar riff. It is rare and I mean black athlete/black wife rare that you will find a guy that is “friends” with a girl he is no way shape or form attracted to. For some reason (duh) we won’t even consider just hanging with a chick unless there is a chance we can get down. Hell, most dudes end up there without a choice! While I won’t discount the advantages of having some female friends around for some honest feedback and opinions; it just isn’t platonic if one party is looking at the other like a piece of prime rib. Medium. Mmmmm.

This is another classic case of something that is sexy in theory and fugly in practice. Men and women can be friends yes. Can they be in anything marked by the complete absence of passion, romance and sex?

Let me see if I can channel Smokey. Hellll naw!

Icabod Calls Out Black Women (at his own risk!)

by I.M. Haight

This is something that has pissed me off for years. I am a black man and I love black women but I don’t think you love yourselves. First off, there is nothing wrong with you. And for that matter, there has never been anything wrong. Despite what the media portrays or what you believe, you are by far the strongest, smartest, most resourceful, most devout, most beautiful, and downright damn finest creatures walking this earth. You built this nation and continue to be the world’s backbone, yet the majority of you don’t realize it. I will admit some fault lies with the opposite sex and the long term demeaning of women. However, the bulk of the fault lies within each individual woman who does not realize and claim her God given power.

Then there is the mantra. “Why aren’t there more black women in the media?” The complaint that comes directly after that deals with the complexion of the black women who do happen to make it. Valid points, but answer me this. Why were breast implants, collagen injections, and rump plumping procedures invented?

To emulate you.

Because white women lacked the proportions that the white man coveted. The shape and stature that black men have loved for so many years. Miscegenation started when white men forced themselves onto slaves, long before “mixed”(I hate that fucking word….another blog, another time) girls took over video shoots or magazine covers. The slave owners could not resist the obvious strength and resilient beauty of the black woman. So, before you are so quick to say that nobody wants you, remember that everyone does.

To the black woman who wears tons of makeup.

Stop. Your skin was made the perfect shade in God’s eyes.

To the black woman who feels she is only worth her body.

Stop. You have blood of kings and queens in your veins.

To the black woman who pushes things up and lets things hang out.

Stop. The world already wants your body so get your mind and spirit on the same level.

To the black woman who only checks for an account balance before saying “I do”.

Stop. Because you have been blessed with a spirit and will to get your own.

To the black woman who is always critical and negative…

Stop. We long for your support.

To the black woman who is giving up on the first night.

Stop. We long to respect you.

To all black women; there is nothing wrong with you. In fact, everything is all right…

Deal Breakers!

by Preston Swagger

It still amazes me how a nice smile can be so damn enchanting! Mesmerizing even. It’s like getting knocked in the head with something and being stunned for a few seconds.

She had one of those smiles. And it got me…

EVERYTIME.

Luckily I’m an expert at hiding my feelings (It comes with the testosterone I guess) so no one ever noticed my temporary state of stunned disorientation whenever this girl gave me a toothy grin. But then it happened…my dealbreaker…

We drank together.

And she got BEYOND sloppy.

FUCK! I hope this isn’t a habit because:

Dealbreakers:

1. Consistently sloppy drunks. Sure everyone gets a pass on New Years, and the 4th, and Labor Day and Cinco De Mayo, and Thanksgiving (family can be a BITCH), and Christmas, and funerals and weddings, and even Valentine’s Day if you’ve had your heart beat up. But DAMN isn’t that enough passes?! When you turn me into a de facto babysitter all the time…you’re fuckin up my buzz! Deal broken.

2. Women who don’t drink at all! I know, I know it’s slightly hypocritical, but I don’t think I’m asking for too much. Just know what you can handle. Get like me and let’s drink until we’re just short of sloppy and then let the tipsy hookups begin.

3. Cigarette smokers - obvious reasons. Just can’t fuck with it

NOTE: A female who smokes the occasional cigar is the EXACT OPPOSITE. Email me if that’s you!

I’m gonna swing by and add to this list throughout the day, but hit me up in the comments and let me know what BREAKS THE DEAL for you!! (You can skip the obvious stuff like a crack habit or a 3rd arm or whatever).

**Edit 1 My man Mirth reminded me of another good one!! Social Independence…You’ve gotta have YOUR girls and YOUR friends. Go do YOUR own shit from time to time. No matter how fine or cool you are (hopefully both)—you CANNOT be up under ME all that time. Trust me baby, I’m not THAT interesting.**

Peace, Love and A Great Buzz,

–Preston

We're Getting the Band Back Together

It's true. We're getting the band back together and while it may not be a mission from God,we are certainly going to bring back our brand of truth. The expected launch date for the site is April 1-ish. If you visited the previous incarnation of the site, you can expect the same brand of humor, truth and wit. For those joining for the first time, come back here and check out some of our greatest hits. Some of our best articles including the "Dear You" spectacles will be posted.

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