Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Toby Hustle Returns with the Rundown…

by Tobias Hustleman

The prodigal son returns. Senor Hustle has been officially listed as missing in action. In my day job, this is a very busy season and while I don’t normally subscribe to allowing anxiety to get in the way of my daily, it has been especially rough lately. Sadly, it’s been to the point of insomnia which has given me the full blown Benicio Del Toro baggy eye thing.

To Fenster and Frankie Four Finger fans, I mean no disrespect.

I’ll give you brief recap of what has been going on and let you know that I’ll be back in the game.

Firstly, space cadets should not be allowed to have direct reports. I’m sure my manager’s intentions are in the right place but when I ask what I should do for my career path, don’t make me the guinea pig for every new project you have. On top of getting clients ready for the new year, I can’t very well do 90 presentations, train co-workers, watch sports and enjoy healthy dosages of box spring breaking. It’s just not possible.

I’m just a man.

This is also the same boss who left a note on their office door for the cleaning staff that read: “Please VACUM.”

Secondly, gambling on SEC football will cause very serious health problems. The Auburn-LSU game almost made me puke. It’s a serious situation when you almost lose your cookies because a game is so intense. Seriously, it was like a bookie was sitting next to me in my room with his hand in my pocket. It was a direct violation of my fanhood, but you know what?? That’s the beauty of gambling. I am still handicapping at a respectable 9-5-1 meaning I’ve called 60%. This means I would be in the black if I had bet straight up on the games. Unfortunately my luck turned when I put live money on the games.

Shout outs go to USC fans. You’re good for a “Gump in Jenny’s Dorm” moment every year.

Third, did anyone see the Shane Moseley fight? Left hooks don’t look any better than the one that happened at 2:59 seconds in the 12th round. In my years of following boxing, I thought I had seen it all until there was a knockout in the last second of the 12th round. It was so money and I knew it.

Next, what’s up with the guy that on gave the 1-2 to teenage girl at the McD’s? If you didn’t see it, check it

DISCLAIMER: I do not condone mic checking teenage girls. It’s not right and especially not in front of your kids or anyone’s kids. On the low, it is one of the nastiest 1-2 shots I’ve ever seen. Be on the lookout for the “Dear You to the Nigga in the White Hat.” When I venture into LA, I am going to guard my McNuggets.

Finally, the debate season is off and running. The presidential debate reaffirmed my selection, but the VP debate kicked it up a notch. Palin seems like a good governor, but Joe Beezy did his thing. He impressed me in the debate and any doubts I had about Obama’s lack of experience were vanquished. I didn’t know that Obama had made the right choice, but the debate was excellent. Joe Biden appears to be a straight shooter who will offer Obama the support he needs to make the tough decisions. My favorite moment was when he called out John McCain’s maverick status. He basically said, “word…” and proceeded to make the case succinctly that John McCain’s maverick status on issues mattering to you and me is non-existent.

Si se puede.

I’m back in the game. When you see the website and the name, you don’t have to guess who’s bizack.

Hustlin without sleep in the 08.

–Tobias Hustleman

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