Ask A Guy - Do men care if the woman is being pleased?

by Preston Swagger



Do men really care if the woman is being pleased?

This is a good question because the answer is also a pretty big indicator on 1 of 2 things:

1. The type of relationship you’re in.

OR

2. The type of guy you’re with.

These may sound like the same thing, but they most certainly are not. But I’ll come back to that in a second. Right now let’s get into it:
I’d say yes—by and large—most guys do care if you’re being pleased. It’s in our best interest to care. I try to treat sex—especially first time sex—like a woman is visiting my restaurant for the first time. I want her to be comfortable. I want her to enjoy the ambiance. I want her to be pleased by the service. I want her to come again and again. I’d like her to talk about her great time with anyone who asks (business owners know it’s all about good word of mouth!). And lastly I’d like her to be a repeat customer.

Some head would be nice too…

But I digress.

My point is this—all of those things are good for me and they’ll come IF it was GOOD FOR HER. Our very mutual interests are obvious to most guys. So ladies, find yourself a great place to dine—make sure he keeps his best table reserved for you and isn’t servicing the whole town and you’ll be straight…
Now for the women who are dealing with a guy who seems less than interested in your sexual satisfaction, there are generally 3 reasons why. Here they are:

1. You’re just a jumpoff (see indicator #1 – The type of relationship you’re in). If you’re just the “post-party, half drunk, I need to get one off” chick, than why would we care if you’re “satisfied”. It’s the exact opposite—he called you to make sure HE was satisfied. And there’s no problem with that, so long as you both know what you’re walking into.
**Editor’s Note: This also works in reverse. If you had a girls night out, came home alone, and need some good servicing and an empty bed in the morning when you wake up. We can hook that up. As a matter of fact when she thinks of good service—who do you think will come to mind?!? The great restaurant owner!! That’s who!!**

Now on to reason #2:

2. You’re with a dude who ain’t worth shit. I can’t put it any clearer than that. This is probably the same guy who’ll WATCH you clean the whole house and do the laundry while he chills on the couch. And then once you’ve got the place spotless, he’ll make ONE plate of YOUR leftovers and then leave a dirty dish, fork and knife in the sink.

If you’re in any kind of continual relationship with a guy who just doesn’t care about your physical satisfaction, you need to break the hell out. What makes you think it will change? What makes you think it won’t spill over into other aspects of the relationship? Look at the situation as simple as possible. You give physically but don’t get anything in return and continue to come back. Outside of gold diggers, how does this benefit you? What sense does it make?

Lastly, there is the rare reason #3

3. He really has no idea what the fuck he’s doing. How can you tell if you have a guy like this? One word:
EFFORT

If he’s genuinely trying to please you. If he’s trying to pull out a new technique or trick to make you happy every time you see him. If he seems genuinely disappointed that you didn’t get yours… Then just have that man slow down, try not to kick his ego into the ocean and help him out a little bit. Just remember that this is always there rarest of the 3 reasons… There aren’t too many good-hearted, nice looking, completely naïve guys running around out there. Don’t kid yourself.

Peace, Love, and Fine Dining,

–Preston