Monday, March 26, 2012

The Feminization Of Men - Part 1

Written by Preston Swagger originally posted 09/08

It became noticeable when “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” hit its peak. Men are and always will be susceptible to two things: Women and Fads.

The “women” part was common knowledge. But fads are a bit more interesting though. This is especially true of fads that take guys out of their comfort zone. You have to coax a guy into that place.

For example:

Remember when “loofahs” first came out?! That spongy, kinda brillo pad type thing on a string (don’t front like you don’t know what I’m talking about). Well do you remember when guys slowly began to use them?

After the Ironhead Hayward commercial!! (5 cool points if you know what I’m talking about)!

I’ll explain: So the loofah comes out and guys aren’t touching it with a 10-foot pole. So someone has the great idea to get Denver Broncos star, Craig “Ironhead” Hayward to do a commercial for it. Moreover the commercial basically just consisted of Ironhead showing you how much more “lather” you can get with the loofah over the standard wash cloth and then him yelling and mocking the guys who thought the thing was too girly.



So this guy’s guy reassures us. Tells us it’s ok to use this thing. So we do. He’s our excuse. I watch Ironhead run over fools on a football field every Sunday!! If he’s cool with the loufah…I’m cool too.

Queer Eye did the same thing, but in a different fashion. These guys would take a guy with a girlfriend or wife (that was ESSENTIAL, he HAD to have a girlfriend or wife) and shave him, fix up his crib, buy him a gang of new clothes and then go, “See…now isn’t this better”?? To which most guys would probably answer:



But that wasn’t the entire scenario. The full picture was these guys going, “See…now isn’t this better”?? While his girl was standing right there!! She’s grinning from ear to ear because sex no longer involves a mouthful of chest hair and he just nods and is like, “yeah. I guess this is better”. And then they’d broadcast that shit into millions of homes across the country. And the Ironhead theorem would slowly kick in. Every week more men would fall victim as their girl would turn to them and say shit like,

“it’s not that bad”

“if that guy did it, so can you”,

“he was a Giants fan just like you, and now he looks great in skinny jeans”.

These same men would rationalize to their male friends after they’d given in.

“Yo, dog…exfoliating is kinda cool”.

“Pimps get manicures all the time”.

“Chicks love the way this new milk of magnesia, aloe vera, cocoa body butter smells”!!

But little did women know that these new products and body care regiments would seep into far more than the guy’s skin. It ended up permeating millions of guy’s very being and leading to the epidemic of bitchassness that is RAMPANT today.

I’m looking at you Day 26!!

In part 2 we discuss how bad things are today and how rappers have even become plagued by this phenomena as well. (IT’S STILL TRICKIN EVEN IF YOU HAVE IT!!!! YOU PUNK ASS!!)

Until tomorrow,

P. Swagg

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