by Preston Swagger orig. posted 09/08
I received several comments here and on a few other sites as well as emails regarding PART 1 and that was just the prelude. Some people thought that I was overreacting.
I’m sure that I am…but just humor me for a few more moments:
So the “women like it” + the “it’s a new fad” combination takes hold and the “queer eye” phenomena begins to grow. Guys are trying new products and realizing that they weren’t so bad.
This movement even gives rise to a new term, “metrosexual”.
How large has that term become?
Most spell checkers don’t correct it anymore. Now that’s the mark of something that has truly permeated society.
But you know what? That’s not even the problem. I’m not saying men should be hairy disgusting creatures. Nor do I mean to imply that “hairy”, “unkempt”, “smelly” or any other adjective in that vein defines manhood. Just as a neat and well dressed man isn’t a “pussy”.
I’ll put myself out there. And just for fun I’ll highlight the things that someone could interpret as girly.
I’ve never had a manicure.
I do have a loofah.
I work in Los Angeles and when I’m at a lunch or dinner meeting I know what wine to order with what foods.
I don’t kick it at home and sip Chablis.
If we go out, my goatee will be immaculately trimmed and my head will have a fresh baldy.
Right now: 5 o’clock shadow like a muthafucka.
I love sports, and I love gambling.
I’m honestly not that good with my hands. I can put the shit from Ikea together but I’m nothing special.
And if you hear a sound from under the hood of your car…I can’t do much more than refer you to a good mechanic.
If I’d been Tom Hanks in Castaway…you would’ve found my corpse! Right next to the twigs where I tried in vain to light a fire before I starved to death!
I’m an average cat.
But what I’m saying here…..the point of this article….is that THINGS HAVE GONE WAY PAST AVERAGE. They’ve gone way past metrosexual. Take the Blogxilla post I referenced at the end of part 1 on this topic. He kept hearing about guys doing some really punk ass shit. So, via twitter, he opened up his site and let women comment. Did you read those comments?????
IT IS WAY PAST AVERAGE.
I’ve copied some of the highlights lowlights here for you to read for yourself:
@Blogxilla: just yesterday, this guy was literally sitting next to his phone waiting 4 me 2 call.. Every 30 mins he’d hit me up Or when a guy is strictly your friend and he starts with…”It really hurt my feelings when…”
@Blogxilla this guy I work with, a girl told him he looked chunky at the club and he wouldn’t leave the dj booth for 2 hours lmao
@Blogxilla OMG!!! Me and ALL my girls been sayin this same shit ALL summer… I dont know, when or why but it seems like men an women are swapping places when it comes to relationships and sex. Used to be men complaining about women being clingy, jealous, insecure, stalkin… an now it’s them. Gettin feelins hurt, catchin feelins, whining, complaining, naggin and blowin a Bitch UP!!! XILLA wuts goin on?!
I love this post Xilla..I just recently broke up with my ex because he would not let me be the female in the relationship..he did most of what was mentioned above..There are a lot of dudes out there like this and its scary/crazy all at the same time
This clearly goes beyond a guy’s choice in exfoliate or whether he chooses wide leg or skinny jeans!!
But it is entirely possible that I’m blowing this out of proportion…
To be sure, let’s take a look at this last comment left on this very site:
Can’t we come to some sort of middle ground on this? Where is the “middleman”? Caveman ~ Hairy / Metroman ~ Waxed (or even worse, a fucking landing strip [true story])
FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!!
A LANDING STRIP!!!
C’mon fellas!! Really?!?!?!?!!?
I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!!
Now let’s take a quick look at hip-hop. What does EVERY SINGLE RAPPER say when they are criticized for rapping about drugs, violence or women in a misogynistic way?
I’m just rapping about what I see every day! I’m just talking about what’s in front of me. I’m a reflection of the hood.
So I’m sure it’s a coincidence that so many rappers become extremely successful and then start singing. Starting with Ja Rule, and running right on through 50, Kanye West and Lil Wayne. Just cause you’re singing into a box that makes your voice sound like a computer doesn’t make it “hard” man! Stop fuckin singin to me. What part of the “hood” are you reflecting with that shit?? When did you see THAT in front of you? Lil Wayne sang more than Static Major on “Lollipop” and he PAID Static Major to sing on that song! And Kanye damn near ruins Young Jeezy’s “Put On” by whining through a computer all over the refrain of the song.
Need more? Cause I could still just be trippin…
How about how every rappers favorite line nowadays seems to be, “it ain’t trickin if you got it”…
Yes it is, you hoecake!!!
Rappers love to reference pimps. Whether it’s Goldie, Magic Don Juan, A Pimp Named Slickback…whomever… But you know what...give those guys a BILLION dollars and guess how much they’d trick…
Zero Point Zero Zero dollars.
That’s how much!
Anytime you throw money in to replace a lack of game…YOU ARE TRICKIN. Pimps could be broke and still talk a chick right up out her clothes. Just cause you sold a million records doesn’t mean you’re not fuckin the game up. It’s trickin……..stop kidding yourself.
But maybe the queer eye phenomenom leading to the metrosexual craze leading to the outright girly men and singing rappers we have today is all just a coincidence…
So get mani/pedi’s, spa treatments, skinny jeans, those miniature scarves, and the best facial mask you can find. It’s not my swagg but go for it if it makes you happy. I’m not saying it’s wrong or you shouldn’t do it. Just be sure and reach into your pants and check for your nuts every now and then…
Because clearly, a lot of dudes have misplaced them.
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