by Tobias Hustleman orig. posted 09/08
Why don't men commit?
That is the worst question I’ve ever heard in my life. You should have been given an idea of that in the “Monogamy vs. Bachelorhood” article. At 30, it seems I’ve only heard women say that their relationships ended badly because of the guy’s inability to commit or do what’s right to keep the relationship going.
That’s just plain garbage.
Physical monogamy is just unnatural. It doesn’t really exist in the animal kingdom and even some species of birds (who I’ve always been told are monogamous) are only socially monogamous.
The male birds are raising some other pimp’s chicks.
It’s not impossible but it has to be a conscious decision. I am not out chasing women. Let me rephrase. I am not chasing women based on what I call “skirt chasing”. I’ve just not had a girlfriend in awhile. That doesn’t mean I am hopping beds every night. I just don’t want to jump into a “relationship” like that just yet.
But I am tired of the non-committal indictments. Women cheat too. What’s worse is women never say they cheat because they wanted to cheat. They’re always pushed to cheating. “My boyfriend does not pay attention to me”…or…”he is always out with his guys”. “He doesn’t try anymore”.
So it’s o.k. to commit but cheat when you feel you are unfulfilled???
There are some concessions that can be made on both sides. Women you’re not always the victim. I’ve been cheated on once and was not really trusted in the very next instance. After that my next ex didn’t really appreciate my efforts (that didn’t “drive” me to cheat on her though). She and I have since resolved, but I digress. What have I been since then? A devout member of the Clooney Church of Bachelors.
(Editor’s Note from P. Swagg: Let the church say Amen)
A female friend of mine gave up the tapes. She said women fuck around too. Some of her friends have had long time boyfriends or husbands and philandered. This is after I asked her what she thought about men avoiding commitment. I decided to google female infidelity and what do you know...I found a website called womensinfidelity.com.
WORD????
So you want me to commit so that you can go through the four stages? Keep it. Marriage as it stands today is a fairy tale, religious convention. I feel like someone watched the movie “Unfaithful” and thought, “I am glad she cheated on her husband”.
Women deserve to get theirs too. Yes, you do.
And I am all for being that guy to give it to you!!
Nah……as much as I hate marriage, I would never disrespect it. If people are going to try, I don’t want the karma of being the splackavellie. God bless you if you wanna try. But all guys are not bad. It just depends on where you catch them in their life’s path. And here’s the flip side that no one ever mentions.
It’s the same way with women…
Maybe our paths cross at the wrong time. Who knows?
Most of my female friends get heartbroken when they sleep with a guy and the guy bounces out before settling down. I always think to myself you wouldn’t feel that way if you just treated it as an act. I guess men “feel” and think in physical terms; women “feel” and think emotionally.
This post ended up as more of a rant than anything else. Hopefully my next post will be more formalized. Truthfully, I wish I had the DVD of “Waiting to Exhale” right now so I could piss on it. I am still bitter about being subjected to that garbage rather than seeing “Rumble in the Bronx.”
Until Part 2
T. Hustleman
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